6 am, day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
They're not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
They call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
Then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying
Driving back to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
She's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Monday, December 03, 2007
The Most Important Day of My Life
...so far.
It's official. You'll see what I mean, tomorrow.
Isn't the suspense just exquisite?
It's official. You'll see what I mean, tomorrow.
Isn't the suspense just exquisite?
Monday, December 19, 2005
Well, I Didn't Trip
It's over, finally. After four and a half years, I now hold a diploma from the University of Nebraska. It is an amazing feeling. At first I didn't think I would feel any differently, but I do. It is a Monday at 11:15, and I am doing...nothing. Wow. It also really hit me yesterday afternoon when Mom and I were driving around campus. She is putting together something for me for Christmas/graduation and needed some pictures, so she asked me what the things were that I truly wanted to remember from campus. We took pictures by Memorial, Teachers College, Mueller Tower, Burnett, Pound, Sandoz, and Devaney because those are the places that were significant - I honestly should have had a picture of Kauffman too! Anyway, it got to me then - I won't enter some of the buildings again because I have no reason to. I am a college graduate. It sounds funny to say, like I almost don't believe it has actually happened, but it was great!
The ceremony itself went a lot faster than I expected. We started at 9:30 and were done at 11:15. Hey, two days ago exactly, I was a college graduate! It is still sinking in, cut me some slack. I had a great graduation party (and no, it was not at the apartment, I said it was a GREAT party and we all know it would not have been fun had it been here, ha ha) at the hotel my family stayed at. A lot of friends stopped by and there are some fun pictures posted on Facebook so I am not going to bother putting them here when they are already elsewhere on the Internet. I got a lot of great gifts too, of course, but one of the best presents I never expected was nothing material at all. Drake, the family, and I were getting ready to leave Devaney after the ceremony and my phone starts ringing. I didn't recognize the number but answered anyway and didn't hear anyone on the other end. This person called back four times and I was getting annoyed because I thought someone was pranking me and finally I stayed on the line a little longer and after a delay I hear a voice say, "Don't hang up on me Sarah!" At first I didn't believe who it was, because come on, this guy couldn't remember an important date to save his life. Yet, no doubt, there's no way I would ever forget his voice. I asked anyway who it was, just out of disbelief, and sure enough, all the way from Ramadi, Iraq, Adam had called to congratulate me. Good timing too, but wow. It was one of the most thoughtful things he's ever done - amazing how he gets to be so thoughtful AFTER we break up. But it was good just to hear his voice again since I hadn't seen him for almost a year - it will actually be a whole year as of New year's Eve. We talked for about fifteen minutes and then he had to go, but he has Internet sometimes, so we will be able to talk on messenger. It was a great gift, definitely.
All around, the gifts were pretty awesome and JohnRoss and Amanda each brought me a 40 of King Cobra! Yes! Awesome. But everyone was really thoughtful and I have a ton of thank yous to start writing because it was quite possibly one of the greatest days of my life - I know I say that a lot, so I guess I am blessed enough to have a great life.
I am leaving for home sometime this week, not sure exactly when. It'll be nice to be home for a while, because let's face it, living in this apartment sucks. But hey, not much that can be done about it, because you can only make the same request so many times before you realize, as Britt put it, "People are too dumb to comprehend simple English". She is pretty great with words.
Speaking of Britt, after the graduation party that night a bunch of us went to see Wedding Crashers. It's not my favorite film by those guys, but I did like it, and it was funny. Like my mother, I am not a big Owen Wilson fan, I like Luke better, but unfortunately he was not in it. However, Will Ferrell was in it at the end and I didn't know it beforehand, so it made the movie that much better - and his character's name was Chaz, which made me laugh even more.
Speaking of Chaz, Teetz was not at my graduation party because he went home on Friday - he missed Cracker Barrell AND IHOP. He is going to be so sorry when he hears about that, because he loves those places and every time my family has been here, he and (usually) Britt have always come with us. On Friday though, Britt was also gone because she was in Kearney for UNK's graduation. She and Kellie (her sister) both got back in time on Saturday though for my party, and they went with Bailie and I to see the movie.
That's about all for now. It's nice to not have anything to do until I want to do something - this feeling is great. I know it means loans will start soon, so I should probably talk to Bailie about consolidating...ick.
The ceremony itself went a lot faster than I expected. We started at 9:30 and were done at 11:15. Hey, two days ago exactly, I was a college graduate! It is still sinking in, cut me some slack. I had a great graduation party (and no, it was not at the apartment, I said it was a GREAT party and we all know it would not have been fun had it been here, ha ha) at the hotel my family stayed at. A lot of friends stopped by and there are some fun pictures posted on Facebook so I am not going to bother putting them here when they are already elsewhere on the Internet. I got a lot of great gifts too, of course, but one of the best presents I never expected was nothing material at all. Drake, the family, and I were getting ready to leave Devaney after the ceremony and my phone starts ringing. I didn't recognize the number but answered anyway and didn't hear anyone on the other end. This person called back four times and I was getting annoyed because I thought someone was pranking me and finally I stayed on the line a little longer and after a delay I hear a voice say, "Don't hang up on me Sarah!" At first I didn't believe who it was, because come on, this guy couldn't remember an important date to save his life. Yet, no doubt, there's no way I would ever forget his voice. I asked anyway who it was, just out of disbelief, and sure enough, all the way from Ramadi, Iraq, Adam had called to congratulate me. Good timing too, but wow. It was one of the most thoughtful things he's ever done - amazing how he gets to be so thoughtful AFTER we break up. But it was good just to hear his voice again since I hadn't seen him for almost a year - it will actually be a whole year as of New year's Eve. We talked for about fifteen minutes and then he had to go, but he has Internet sometimes, so we will be able to talk on messenger. It was a great gift, definitely.
All around, the gifts were pretty awesome and JohnRoss and Amanda each brought me a 40 of King Cobra! Yes! Awesome. But everyone was really thoughtful and I have a ton of thank yous to start writing because it was quite possibly one of the greatest days of my life - I know I say that a lot, so I guess I am blessed enough to have a great life.
I am leaving for home sometime this week, not sure exactly when. It'll be nice to be home for a while, because let's face it, living in this apartment sucks. But hey, not much that can be done about it, because you can only make the same request so many times before you realize, as Britt put it, "People are too dumb to comprehend simple English". She is pretty great with words.
Speaking of Britt, after the graduation party that night a bunch of us went to see Wedding Crashers. It's not my favorite film by those guys, but I did like it, and it was funny. Like my mother, I am not a big Owen Wilson fan, I like Luke better, but unfortunately he was not in it. However, Will Ferrell was in it at the end and I didn't know it beforehand, so it made the movie that much better - and his character's name was Chaz, which made me laugh even more.
Speaking of Chaz, Teetz was not at my graduation party because he went home on Friday - he missed Cracker Barrell AND IHOP. He is going to be so sorry when he hears about that, because he loves those places and every time my family has been here, he and (usually) Britt have always come with us. On Friday though, Britt was also gone because she was in Kearney for UNK's graduation. She and Kellie (her sister) both got back in time on Saturday though for my party, and they went with Bailie and I to see the movie.
That's about all for now. It's nice to not have anything to do until I want to do something - this feeling is great. I know it means loans will start soon, so I should probably talk to Bailie about consolidating...ick.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Quick Update
I have even more great news to add to my already wonderful day! Silas switched his weekends, so now he isn't on-call and is coming on Saturday for my graduation party!!!! He wasn't sure if he'd come to the ceremony itself, since it is early, and he wasn't sure if Crazy Rachel was graduating or not. Last we knew, she graduated in August but that could have changed. He didn't want to risk running into her and her family without talking to her prior, given the circumstances and the last time we were all in one place (you remember, it ended with Crazy Rachel yelling at me and storming out of the bar because she thought Silas and I were together) but who knows. I thought it was pretty cool of him to want to come to that, but he'd have to get up so early to come from Grand Island, I told him it wasn't necessary. He will be there for the party for sure though, so yay!
On a way more crappier note, even Silas hasn't talked to Adam in about a month and a half or so. He thinks Ashley finally got to Adam, because she's pissed at Silas because he doesn't talk to her and doesn't call her back (she's INSANE) and Adam caved. That's lame on Adam's part, Silas has been his best friend forever, since they were kids - granted, they will probably always be "kids", but you know what I mean. That probably also explains why I haven't gotten my obligatory phone calls from Adam either, because if Silas isn't getting calls, then no one but Ashley is. Even Silas said she freaked out because he was even talking to me at all, which I don't know how she even knows about because Adam sure as hell doesn't tell her shit about me. The situation is bullshit, you never dump your best friend for life for the crazy girl you have known for a little over a year. But that's Adam for you, he is the type who always has to find out stuff the hard way.
But still! Silas is going to be here on Saturday! Rusty is here already! I am so excited I think I might explode! Life really can not be more perfect than it is right now. I have the best boyfriend in the world, the best friends in the world, and as of Saturday at noon, I will finally be a graduate of the University of Nebraska.
There is no place like Nebraska
Dear old Nebraska U
Where the girls are the fairest
The boys are the squarest
Of any old place that I knew
There is no place like Nebraska
Where we're all true blue
And we'll all stick together
In all kinds of weather
For dear old Nebraska U
Yeah, I am starting to get kind of emotional now. Not the sobbing my eyes out kind of emotional, just sentimental. Like tonight for example, this is my last half hour ever of working in Burnett and I am done. I am already done at Belmont, I haven't lived in the same place as Teetz for seven months now, and haven't been to the Lounge in a while...these are all college things I have to learn to do without, ugh. At least I can still get Teetz stuck in phone booths and revolving doors. I don't think that will ever cease to be fun.
On a way more crappier note, even Silas hasn't talked to Adam in about a month and a half or so. He thinks Ashley finally got to Adam, because she's pissed at Silas because he doesn't talk to her and doesn't call her back (she's INSANE) and Adam caved. That's lame on Adam's part, Silas has been his best friend forever, since they were kids - granted, they will probably always be "kids", but you know what I mean. That probably also explains why I haven't gotten my obligatory phone calls from Adam either, because if Silas isn't getting calls, then no one but Ashley is. Even Silas said she freaked out because he was even talking to me at all, which I don't know how she even knows about because Adam sure as hell doesn't tell her shit about me. The situation is bullshit, you never dump your best friend for life for the crazy girl you have known for a little over a year. But that's Adam for you, he is the type who always has to find out stuff the hard way.
But still! Silas is going to be here on Saturday! Rusty is here already! I am so excited I think I might explode! Life really can not be more perfect than it is right now. I have the best boyfriend in the world, the best friends in the world, and as of Saturday at noon, I will finally be a graduate of the University of Nebraska.
There is no place like Nebraska
Dear old Nebraska U
Where the girls are the fairest
The boys are the squarest
Of any old place that I knew
There is no place like Nebraska
Where we're all true blue
And we'll all stick together
In all kinds of weather
For dear old Nebraska U
Yeah, I am starting to get kind of emotional now. Not the sobbing my eyes out kind of emotional, just sentimental. Like tonight for example, this is my last half hour ever of working in Burnett and I am done. I am already done at Belmont, I haven't lived in the same place as Teetz for seven months now, and haven't been to the Lounge in a while...these are all college things I have to learn to do without, ugh. At least I can still get Teetz stuck in phone booths and revolving doors. I don't think that will ever cease to be fun.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
Today has been one of the best days of my life! It was also one I am very sentimental about, but I got some really good news as well, which of course I will share here shortly.
First, it was my last day at Belmont as I am sure you knew. Mrs. Rangel shooed me out of the room for most of the morning and had me go observe some other classrooms because she and the kids were finishing up my gift. After lunch we had our party - it was the sweetest thing ever. First, they gave me a book they'd put together, it had all their individual school pictures on different flowers and said "Miss M Helped Us Grow" and then they each wrote about something we did in the classroom this semester. Then Mrs. Rangel presented me with a bag - it was adorable! It had each of their handprints on it, with their names and a heart. Inside the bag were nineteen different gifts, each from one of the students. Mrs. R had actually gotten the gifts, but each child had chosen which one they wanted to wrap and put in the bag. it was adorable. Then we had cake and cookies and punch and it was a great afternoon. Of course there were tons of hugs too, I really am going to miss these guys, I got a little teary when I was opening their gifts. I promised I would go back and visit though, and I am making them thank-yous, because all kids love to get mail, especially addressed directly to them.
This had been a great day for another reason: I went in to pay my $300+ school bill, and found out it was already paid! I was very excited about this, more money for the bars tonight! Just kidding, but really, there was a bit of confusion because they'd taken money from one of my loans to pay this bill, but I didn't know that. I got my reimbursement, then got a bill notice after the fact, so I thought I still had a balance. Thank goodness, that's 300 more dollars I can save to move out. Whew.
Also on another happy note: I am getting Grandma tickets to a Husker basketball game for Christmas. Last year she and Grandpa came for the Texas Tech game (BOBBY KNIGHT, WOOHOO!) and I am going to again this year. Regardless of Kansas sucking ass this year, it is still a big game, so while I am still a student, I am going to buy the tickets at student prices. I better get that done now though before I forget and end up paying regular price - yuck. That's one reason I am glad N Cards don't change very often - in the spring I will still be able to get into Husker baseball games free, unless they start charging now, which would suck. I love Husker baseball....Jesse Boyer...drool....
Okay, back.
This weekend is going to be so much fun, I can't wait to see my family, even though I am going to get to see them again a few days later, but this is different, I am graduating. You don't realize how powerful that statement is until you are completely done with everything. I am graduating from college. Wow. I didn't think it was such a big deal before and Teetz and I have talked about this a lot, but yeah, graduation, wow...
Britt is dragging my ass out to the bars tonight, and by dragging I mean I am going whole-heartedly. I haven't been out on a Thursday in I don't know how long, because of getting up early for student teaching. Tonight we're going to go out and have a good time and everyone better be there - even Teetz and Kayleen might show up for five minutes after their cram session for one of their met classes. Teetz is almost a guarantee, just say the word 'alcohol' and he's there. Britt, Drake, etc...the usual suspects, will all be around, and JOHNROSS, if you read this you better show up! I should just call him now because he probably won't read this in time...
Anyway.
That is all for now, I am off to work on my thank-yous for my babies. I miss them already.
Days til graduation: ONE!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited I might pee my pants. Hopefully Shona and I don't trip while we're walking.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
First, it was my last day at Belmont as I am sure you knew. Mrs. Rangel shooed me out of the room for most of the morning and had me go observe some other classrooms because she and the kids were finishing up my gift. After lunch we had our party - it was the sweetest thing ever. First, they gave me a book they'd put together, it had all their individual school pictures on different flowers and said "Miss M Helped Us Grow" and then they each wrote about something we did in the classroom this semester. Then Mrs. Rangel presented me with a bag - it was adorable! It had each of their handprints on it, with their names and a heart. Inside the bag were nineteen different gifts, each from one of the students. Mrs. R had actually gotten the gifts, but each child had chosen which one they wanted to wrap and put in the bag. it was adorable. Then we had cake and cookies and punch and it was a great afternoon. Of course there were tons of hugs too, I really am going to miss these guys, I got a little teary when I was opening their gifts. I promised I would go back and visit though, and I am making them thank-yous, because all kids love to get mail, especially addressed directly to them.
This had been a great day for another reason: I went in to pay my $300+ school bill, and found out it was already paid! I was very excited about this, more money for the bars tonight! Just kidding, but really, there was a bit of confusion because they'd taken money from one of my loans to pay this bill, but I didn't know that. I got my reimbursement, then got a bill notice after the fact, so I thought I still had a balance. Thank goodness, that's 300 more dollars I can save to move out. Whew.
Also on another happy note: I am getting Grandma tickets to a Husker basketball game for Christmas. Last year she and Grandpa came for the Texas Tech game (BOBBY KNIGHT, WOOHOO!) and I am going to again this year. Regardless of Kansas sucking ass this year, it is still a big game, so while I am still a student, I am going to buy the tickets at student prices. I better get that done now though before I forget and end up paying regular price - yuck. That's one reason I am glad N Cards don't change very often - in the spring I will still be able to get into Husker baseball games free, unless they start charging now, which would suck. I love Husker baseball....Jesse Boyer...drool....
Okay, back.
This weekend is going to be so much fun, I can't wait to see my family, even though I am going to get to see them again a few days later, but this is different, I am graduating. You don't realize how powerful that statement is until you are completely done with everything. I am graduating from college. Wow. I didn't think it was such a big deal before and Teetz and I have talked about this a lot, but yeah, graduation, wow...
Britt is dragging my ass out to the bars tonight, and by dragging I mean I am going whole-heartedly. I haven't been out on a Thursday in I don't know how long, because of getting up early for student teaching. Tonight we're going to go out and have a good time and everyone better be there - even Teetz and Kayleen might show up for five minutes after their cram session for one of their met classes. Teetz is almost a guarantee, just say the word 'alcohol' and he's there. Britt, Drake, etc...the usual suspects, will all be around, and JOHNROSS, if you read this you better show up! I should just call him now because he probably won't read this in time...
Anyway.
That is all for now, I am off to work on my thank-yous for my babies. I miss them already.
Days til graduation: ONE!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited I might pee my pants. Hopefully Shona and I don't trip while we're walking.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
And Now For Something Less Political...
I hate living in my apartment. I hate it I hate it I hate it. In case you missed it, I hate it. It puts me in such a bad mood even knowing I have to go back there, I can't stand it. I wish I had gotten a place on my own from the start, having roommates is a bad idea, especially ones who you don't care to talk to because of shit that has happened recently. To try to remedy the situation I just spend as little time there as possible, though I can't keep doing this for the next six months, it will wear me out. When my grandpa gets here on Friday I am going to talk to him about it more and see what he can do about it. He's good at negotiating, I am sure that something can be done so I don't have to live with rats and mice anymore.
On a happier note, graduation is approaching very quickly and I am excited. Shona and I are both afraid we're going to trip or something and knowing us, I wouldn't be surprised at all. And I am excited for my party too! A bunch of my friends will be there and my family too, which is what matters most. I can't wait.
Shona and I have been observing other classrooms this week. It is cool to see how other teachers organize their classrooms, and how they manage them. I also like seeing the set-ups and stuff like that. I am bummed that I won't get to see my kiddos anymore though - but I told them I would come back for the 100th Day party. Yay.
Okay, that's enough for now, especially after my last post about the death penalty which I am sure everyone will hate. Oh well. I am used to writing things that piss people off, but if you get pissed off by it, then don't read it and you will be happier (JohnRoss, this is not a comment to you about our disagreement over religion, just so you know. It is to others in general who just need to leave well enough alone but don't "get it" yet. I less than three you, JohnRoss and you are more than welcome to read this any time.)
Days left at Belmont: two
Days left til graduation: three
Days left in that shithole apartment: too many fucking days to count
On a happier note, graduation is approaching very quickly and I am excited. Shona and I are both afraid we're going to trip or something and knowing us, I wouldn't be surprised at all. And I am excited for my party too! A bunch of my friends will be there and my family too, which is what matters most. I can't wait.
Shona and I have been observing other classrooms this week. It is cool to see how other teachers organize their classrooms, and how they manage them. I also like seeing the set-ups and stuff like that. I am bummed that I won't get to see my kiddos anymore though - but I told them I would come back for the 100th Day party. Yay.
Okay, that's enough for now, especially after my last post about the death penalty which I am sure everyone will hate. Oh well. I am used to writing things that piss people off, but if you get pissed off by it, then don't read it and you will be happier (JohnRoss, this is not a comment to you about our disagreement over religion, just so you know. It is to others in general who just need to leave well enough alone but don't "get it" yet. I less than three you, JohnRoss and you are more than welcome to read this any time.)
Days left at Belmont: two
Days left til graduation: three
Days left in that shithole apartment: too many fucking days to count
Sunday, December 11, 2005
The End...Almost
Well, this is it.
My final week as a student of the University of Nebraska began today. I am pretty excited to graduate, even though I know I will still be in Lincoln because the lease isn't up until then. I think I still will probably stay until next December for sure, because that is when Drake is graduating, and then who knows what will happen. I will eventually go to grad school, but I have to have a couple years of classroom experience first.
My party details are mostly set, something I am also excited about. I am a little bummed Teetz won't be here; he and Britt are the bestest of my bestest buds, but sometimes his family has to come before me. I am also super excited because Kayleen was going to try to get off work or at least work a shift that didn't conflict with my party quite as much. I haven't seen her in ages, so it will be awesome.
That is about all right now, nothing too exciting, today was it for me at Office Depot for three weeks. I am also applying at Barnes and Noble - but only because B. Dalton is not hiring. B&N is evil, but it would be much more enjoyable than Office Depot. We'll see, because I will also be subbing too. I can handle three jobs, I've done it before.
Days left at Belmont: four
Days left til graduation: six
Days left in that shithole apartment: too many to count
My final week as a student of the University of Nebraska began today. I am pretty excited to graduate, even though I know I will still be in Lincoln because the lease isn't up until then. I think I still will probably stay until next December for sure, because that is when Drake is graduating, and then who knows what will happen. I will eventually go to grad school, but I have to have a couple years of classroom experience first.
My party details are mostly set, something I am also excited about. I am a little bummed Teetz won't be here; he and Britt are the bestest of my bestest buds, but sometimes his family has to come before me. I am also super excited because Kayleen was going to try to get off work or at least work a shift that didn't conflict with my party quite as much. I haven't seen her in ages, so it will be awesome.
That is about all right now, nothing too exciting, today was it for me at Office Depot for three weeks. I am also applying at Barnes and Noble - but only because B. Dalton is not hiring. B&N is evil, but it would be much more enjoyable than Office Depot. We'll see, because I will also be subbing too. I can handle three jobs, I've done it before.
Days left at Belmont: four
Days left til graduation: six
Days left in that shithole apartment: too many to count
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Senioritis Is Ruining My Life
I know you hear me go on and on about not having anything to do now, which I enjoy immensely, so I am sure you're thinking, "How could Senioritis be ruining Sarah's life?"
Well kids, here is how: I have writer's block!
I started a pretty decent story last night, it was just very slow moving for me, though I was pretty into it after a while. I am not sure what I want to do with it yet, but I am not usually a fan of making outlines. I like to discover things right along with the characters, so we will see what happens. Britt better enjoy this gift! Ha ha.
Also, I don't feel like doing ANYTHING. This includes mustering up the energy to put stamps on important envelopes containing money that credit card people would like. Don't worry, they're not actually due yet, I usually like to pay my bills as soon as I get them though, so I don't have to worry about missing deadlines. Lately though, the deadlines have been getting closer and closer. It's not even procrastination anymore, it is that I actually do not care. I better start caring though, because I like my credit cards and I don't want them to be taken away. And I don't want people harassing me for money. That's not fun.
It is snowing again, which I don't mind because I love snow. I don't like this wimpy snow though, I like the badass snow, the HUGE flakes that coat everything in two seconds flat. That's the best kind of snow.
Days left at Belmont: 6 (Might start crying because I am sad)
Days left until graduation: 8 (Might start crying because I am happy and sad)
Days left on this stupid lease: Too many to count (I will start crying because I am mad)
I don't think Drake is too thrilled he has to sit through the ceremony next Saturday. However, he should be glad I am graduating now and not in May with a shit ton of other people. AT least this time around it will only be two and a half hours or so.
I am so angry! Not really. And it's not even Teetz's fault, really. I blame his parents. But Merle is still cool in my book so it's really mostly okay. I haven't met his mother yet and he said I can't...Anyway, this tangent is about the fact Teetz will miss graduation :( I wanted him to be there, but at least we're going on this Friday to celebrate. I expect lots of girlie fru-fru drinks, and he has to drink all of them with me.
Well kids, here is how: I have writer's block!
I started a pretty decent story last night, it was just very slow moving for me, though I was pretty into it after a while. I am not sure what I want to do with it yet, but I am not usually a fan of making outlines. I like to discover things right along with the characters, so we will see what happens. Britt better enjoy this gift! Ha ha.
Also, I don't feel like doing ANYTHING. This includes mustering up the energy to put stamps on important envelopes containing money that credit card people would like. Don't worry, they're not actually due yet, I usually like to pay my bills as soon as I get them though, so I don't have to worry about missing deadlines. Lately though, the deadlines have been getting closer and closer. It's not even procrastination anymore, it is that I actually do not care. I better start caring though, because I like my credit cards and I don't want them to be taken away. And I don't want people harassing me for money. That's not fun.
It is snowing again, which I don't mind because I love snow. I don't like this wimpy snow though, I like the badass snow, the HUGE flakes that coat everything in two seconds flat. That's the best kind of snow.
Days left at Belmont: 6 (Might start crying because I am sad)
Days left until graduation: 8 (Might start crying because I am happy and sad)
Days left on this stupid lease: Too many to count (I will start crying because I am mad)
I don't think Drake is too thrilled he has to sit through the ceremony next Saturday. However, he should be glad I am graduating now and not in May with a shit ton of other people. AT least this time around it will only be two and a half hours or so.
I am so angry! Not really. And it's not even Teetz's fault, really. I blame his parents. But Merle is still cool in my book so it's really mostly okay. I haven't met his mother yet and he said I can't...Anyway, this tangent is about the fact Teetz will miss graduation :( I wanted him to be there, but at least we're going on this Friday to celebrate. I expect lots of girlie fru-fru drinks, and he has to drink all of them with me.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Cap and Gown Day!
Shona and I went to the Union to pick up our caps and gowns today. Wow. It is really starting to sink in that I am almost done. I have very few things left to even put in my portfolio, I only have one artifact left for one competency and then once I am done with my final observation by my site supervisor on Thursday, then that is it! I am so excited.
Brittany is the best friend ever. Last night I was really pissed about some bullshit going on at my apartment so I left and slept on her couch for a while, and even though she had to study, she didn't mind at all that I invaded her dorm room. I think it's pretty lame I can't sleep in my own apartment sometimes but I get tired of repeating myself and if people can't remember a simple request, then whatever, I'm going to be a bitch and that's that.
I love Phish Food ice cream. I think it is the best thing ever. Aside from sleep.
I saw my crazy ex-roommate yesterday when I was walking in to work. For the most part I have been lucky in avoiding the insane ones with me being mostly off-campus both living and student teaching, but sometimes I see them and for a few moments I am dumber just having been in their presence. Luckily that fades quickly when they go away like good little crazy people are supposed to. But this particular girl, just wow. It was hard not to laugh, but seriously this girl is one of the dumbest, most ignorant people you will ever meet. Coming from a small town is no excuse for the kind of ignorance she has, it is so blatant and disgusting. I know plenty of people from equally small-town Nebraska/Iowa, etc and they are no where near as ridiculous. Living with her was a trip. Wow, that's all I've got to say, just, wow.
SVU tomorrow night with Teetz! I am super excited, we have two episodes to watch. I miss Teetz a lot. That's another reason I am excited about graduation, I will get to see my people a lot more. Especially Teetz and Britt. We used to be like the Three Musketeers, now we're the Three Extremely Busy People Who Can Never Find Time To Hang Out Together. It sucks. But soon we will be back up to our old tricks again, I can guarantee you that. And we will work hard to corrupt JohnRoss just a little bit more. It's good for him.
I'll have more of an update about the graduation party once it gets closer, I know it will be the day of the ceremony, which ends at 11:30 or noon. Mom is just renting one of the conference rooms at the hotel she and the family is staying at.
I hate this apartment. Coming home actually puts me in such a bad mood, the place literally just makes me angry and I know it is not just the physical space, but whatever, I talked to Mom and she is also looking out for job openings in January in Minnesota so I can get out of here. Speaking of living arrangements, I also decided I am going to live with Teetz when he goes to North Carolina State University for grad school and we will watch Friends all the time and it will be glorious. I am not entirely sure he is actually going to go to NCSU, but if he did it would be wicked cool because then we could go to Duke basketball games all the time!
Duke > North Carolina.
Days until I graduate: 17
Days until I get out of this shithole apartment: 149
Brittany is the best friend ever. Last night I was really pissed about some bullshit going on at my apartment so I left and slept on her couch for a while, and even though she had to study, she didn't mind at all that I invaded her dorm room. I think it's pretty lame I can't sleep in my own apartment sometimes but I get tired of repeating myself and if people can't remember a simple request, then whatever, I'm going to be a bitch and that's that.
I love Phish Food ice cream. I think it is the best thing ever. Aside from sleep.
I saw my crazy ex-roommate yesterday when I was walking in to work. For the most part I have been lucky in avoiding the insane ones with me being mostly off-campus both living and student teaching, but sometimes I see them and for a few moments I am dumber just having been in their presence. Luckily that fades quickly when they go away like good little crazy people are supposed to. But this particular girl, just wow. It was hard not to laugh, but seriously this girl is one of the dumbest, most ignorant people you will ever meet. Coming from a small town is no excuse for the kind of ignorance she has, it is so blatant and disgusting. I know plenty of people from equally small-town Nebraska/Iowa, etc and they are no where near as ridiculous. Living with her was a trip. Wow, that's all I've got to say, just, wow.
SVU tomorrow night with Teetz! I am super excited, we have two episodes to watch. I miss Teetz a lot. That's another reason I am excited about graduation, I will get to see my people a lot more. Especially Teetz and Britt. We used to be like the Three Musketeers, now we're the Three Extremely Busy People Who Can Never Find Time To Hang Out Together. It sucks. But soon we will be back up to our old tricks again, I can guarantee you that. And we will work hard to corrupt JohnRoss just a little bit more. It's good for him.
I'll have more of an update about the graduation party once it gets closer, I know it will be the day of the ceremony, which ends at 11:30 or noon. Mom is just renting one of the conference rooms at the hotel she and the family is staying at.
I hate this apartment. Coming home actually puts me in such a bad mood, the place literally just makes me angry and I know it is not just the physical space, but whatever, I talked to Mom and she is also looking out for job openings in January in Minnesota so I can get out of here. Speaking of living arrangements, I also decided I am going to live with Teetz when he goes to North Carolina State University for grad school and we will watch Friends all the time and it will be glorious. I am not entirely sure he is actually going to go to NCSU, but if he did it would be wicked cool because then we could go to Duke basketball games all the time!
Duke > North Carolina.
Days until I graduate: 17
Days until I get out of this shithole apartment: 149
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Countdowns
Days until I graduate from the University of Nebraska: 19
Days until I get to move out of this shithole apartment: 151
I wish those days were the same number. Hopefully I can get a job that is far away and I will have no choice but to move out. That is doubtful though, unless I am lucky and find something mid-year.
I can't believe I am graduating in nineteen days. Wow. This really went by fast. So fast, in fact, that I think for once in my life I am actually at a loss for words.
Days until I get to move out of this shithole apartment: 151
I wish those days were the same number. Hopefully I can get a job that is far away and I will have no choice but to move out. That is doubtful though, unless I am lucky and find something mid-year.
I can't believe I am graduating in nineteen days. Wow. This really went by fast. So fast, in fact, that I think for once in my life I am actually at a loss for words.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Reflections
I've found out a lot about friends and family this weekend. Some it is necessary for me to know, but other things I wish I didn't know because I truly believe in some instances, ignorance is bliss. The family stuff isn't really up for public discussion so I think I will leave that for face-to-face chats with those whom I care to discuss it with, and as for the friends side - it's not that I "found anything out" but more like I am beginning to see where loyalties really lie. I don't mean loyalties in terms of choosing sides, because this isn't a situation where there are even sides to choose. Maybe we are just drifting apart and that scares me more than anything because among my closest friends in the world, the ones with whom I end all conversations, "I love you", I mean those words exactly. They are the friend for whom I would do anything - lie, beg, borrow, cheat, even die for - because I love them more than anything, and if my doing any of those things would help them in any way shape or form, there's no question I would respond in a heartbeat. I feel that lately however, some of us really are drifting apart. There have been no explicit actions proving this that any outsider will notice, yet to any on "the inside" it is slowly but surely happening. It could be that we are all nearing the end of our college careers and will likely not be living near each other next year, but I think that is all the more reason for us to stay close now when we have the opportunity and not take one another for granted. I know life happens and we all get busy with that, but there's a reason we are friends in the first place and I think it would be a shame for that all to end because we can't seem to make ourselves find the time to hang out even once a week.
And somewhat related to the future, I have really been giving Alaska a lot of thought. I know half of you are thinking, "What the fuck, where did Alaska come from" but it's always been there in the back of my mind. It would be difficult for me to be so far away from my friends and family and in a place that is dark half the year and with no sports teams to speak of (although Duke will usually play in a basketball tournament hosted by the University of Alaska each season, so yay for that). Like Texas, Alaska has a lot to offer new teachers in order to get and keep them there. We all know, however, I will never set foot in the state of Texas (except of course to visit Buttons for Spring Break) so that option is out. Both states have trouble retaining teachers or even getting them there in the first place, so many school districts offer things like, paying for you to move up there, helping pay off college loans, helping pay for grad school, paying rent/house payments the first couple years, and even making car payments as well. In addition to the material value of this option, I think the experience in itself would be so amazing. I have been to most areas of the US with the exception of southern states, aside from Virginia. I have never been to Canada which isn't a loss because Canada sucks, but I think to go somewhere completely new and start completely fresh would be such a challenge and we all know I, on occasion, love a good challenge almost as much as I love watching a good thrashing of the Green Bay Packers by the Minnesota Vikings. Again, could I go without sports for that long? Yes, cable television is nice but nothing compares to being in the stands, watching a football or basketball game live. I don't know, it is something to think about, but something I am considering more and more as graduation nears.
And somewhat related to the future, I have really been giving Alaska a lot of thought. I know half of you are thinking, "What the fuck, where did Alaska come from" but it's always been there in the back of my mind. It would be difficult for me to be so far away from my friends and family and in a place that is dark half the year and with no sports teams to speak of (although Duke will usually play in a basketball tournament hosted by the University of Alaska each season, so yay for that). Like Texas, Alaska has a lot to offer new teachers in order to get and keep them there. We all know, however, I will never set foot in the state of Texas (except of course to visit Buttons for Spring Break) so that option is out. Both states have trouble retaining teachers or even getting them there in the first place, so many school districts offer things like, paying for you to move up there, helping pay off college loans, helping pay for grad school, paying rent/house payments the first couple years, and even making car payments as well. In addition to the material value of this option, I think the experience in itself would be so amazing. I have been to most areas of the US with the exception of southern states, aside from Virginia. I have never been to Canada which isn't a loss because Canada sucks, but I think to go somewhere completely new and start completely fresh would be such a challenge and we all know I, on occasion, love a good challenge almost as much as I love watching a good thrashing of the Green Bay Packers by the Minnesota Vikings. Again, could I go without sports for that long? Yes, cable television is nice but nothing compares to being in the stands, watching a football or basketball game live. I don't know, it is something to think about, but something I am considering more and more as graduation nears.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Wendell...and stuff
I'm not sure exactly how many people know this but I have an very adorable red eared slider turtle named Wendell. I absolutely love him and think he is one of the most adorable things on this planet. Originally my friend Shona and I were working on a project at her apartment last semester and she showed me her new turtle she got, named Wendell. I thought he was so cute that I wanted one of my own. Once I got settled into my new apartment after the semester was over, I went in search of a red eared slider turtle to call my own. Unfortunately I found out it is illegal to sell baby red eared sliders in Lancaster Country because the babies can carry salmonella. Yuck. If the shell is smaller than four inches, they can't be sold. Well, Wendell is waaaaay smaller than four inches, his shell is now a little bigger than a 50 cent piece. Anyway, so I was kind of sad about all this, but decided I would go to Hastings where Shona got hers. Then she told me she would sell Wendell to for cheap because her cat Cleo, tried to eat him one day. Thus, no trip to Hastings and I saved a lot of money. Originally I wanted to name my own turtle Merle, after Teetz's dad, but I couldn't bear to change Wendell's name even though Shona okayed it. So my turtles full name is Wendell Merle, and that way he gets the best of both worlds. He's a lot more active than he used to be and that makes me happy. For a while he just kind of sat around and didn't do much but now his aquarium is looking pretty snazzy if I do say so myself, which I do say, so it's true. He likes to burrow into the rocks and try to bury himself under them, but unfortunately there aren't enough for him to do so. He is fun to watch, I am very happy I got him. I just wish he grew a little faster, though Drake says he can tell he's gotten bigger. I guess I just don't see it because I see Wendell every day, whereas Drake may be here every day but he pays little attention to my baby.
On my way home from work tonight I was driving behind a Toyota Tundra. Damn, it took up a lot of room, and was in general not very attractive. It was also slow, which annoyed me.
Last weekend to go out and have real fun, so we're going to Sandy's around 9:30 or so for those of you old enough to partake in the festivities. Teetz said he'd go drink for drink with me, which will be entertaining so the camera is definitely coming along for this one!
It's hard to believe I am starting my final semester as an undergraduate at UNL. I am anxious to get out, I am sick of Nebraska and really want something new, though I know I will be here until next May. I think what it really comes down to is the bullshit Financial Aid pulls all the time, I am tired of the red tape and the hoops I have to jump through. I love all my friends dearly though and am very lucky to have found them true ones who matter, and to have rid myself of the two-faced ones. I really feel I am at the point in my life where all the toxic people are gone and I don't have to associate with them anymore. It makes things much more simple. I am a bit sad though, I was driving down Greek Row (that's 16th street for those of you not in the know) and saw everyone moving in and gearing up for another year, it's weird not moving back into the dorms, though I am grateful for not having to wear flip-flops in the shower anymore. However, because Drake is an RA - in Cather, of all dorms, ha ha - I will be there quite often. This should make for some interesting times, though Drake would prefer those times be kept to a minimum. I certainly do not miss the sorority life at all, I am glad that chapter in my life has closed. I miss the amazing women I call friends who I met through the chapter, but I am glad to be done with Meeting and Recruitment and the like. It was so stressful and silly at times, but it was a necessary evil to maintain the chapter. This is getting depressing, I am not going to be sad really when I am done, I just know how different things are now. One thing that will bum me out about this year is that most of my friends are graduating in May, while I am going in December. I think Kayleen and I are the only two graduating in the middle of the year, but Drake, Teetz and Britt are all May kiddos. At least Kayleen and I can make faces at each other just to stay awake through the ceremony. I wasn't going to go to it even, but Mom, and pretty much my entire family would kill me if I didn't. I'm psyched to start planning the party, it will be awesome.
Speaking of parties, the other night Britt and I watched Laguna Beach, and the season premier of My Super Sweet Sixteen was on. I wanted to absolutely murder this stupid girl who was on. She was horrible to her mother and was always saying all this nasty stuff and telling her to shut up and sit down and leave her alone and stop being annoying. Hello, dumbass, your mother is dropping $180,000 on a fucking birthday party, quite your bitching and be a little more grateful. It was ridiculous. I honestly think if I ever saw that girl on the street I would not be able to resist punching her. It would be way too sweet.
Okay, I think that is enough incoherent rambling for now, it's nap time.
On my way home from work tonight I was driving behind a Toyota Tundra. Damn, it took up a lot of room, and was in general not very attractive. It was also slow, which annoyed me.
Last weekend to go out and have real fun, so we're going to Sandy's around 9:30 or so for those of you old enough to partake in the festivities. Teetz said he'd go drink for drink with me, which will be entertaining so the camera is definitely coming along for this one!
It's hard to believe I am starting my final semester as an undergraduate at UNL. I am anxious to get out, I am sick of Nebraska and really want something new, though I know I will be here until next May. I think what it really comes down to is the bullshit Financial Aid pulls all the time, I am tired of the red tape and the hoops I have to jump through. I love all my friends dearly though and am very lucky to have found them true ones who matter, and to have rid myself of the two-faced ones. I really feel I am at the point in my life where all the toxic people are gone and I don't have to associate with them anymore. It makes things much more simple. I am a bit sad though, I was driving down Greek Row (that's 16th street for those of you not in the know) and saw everyone moving in and gearing up for another year, it's weird not moving back into the dorms, though I am grateful for not having to wear flip-flops in the shower anymore. However, because Drake is an RA - in Cather, of all dorms, ha ha - I will be there quite often. This should make for some interesting times, though Drake would prefer those times be kept to a minimum. I certainly do not miss the sorority life at all, I am glad that chapter in my life has closed. I miss the amazing women I call friends who I met through the chapter, but I am glad to be done with Meeting and Recruitment and the like. It was so stressful and silly at times, but it was a necessary evil to maintain the chapter. This is getting depressing, I am not going to be sad really when I am done, I just know how different things are now. One thing that will bum me out about this year is that most of my friends are graduating in May, while I am going in December. I think Kayleen and I are the only two graduating in the middle of the year, but Drake, Teetz and Britt are all May kiddos. At least Kayleen and I can make faces at each other just to stay awake through the ceremony. I wasn't going to go to it even, but Mom, and pretty much my entire family would kill me if I didn't. I'm psyched to start planning the party, it will be awesome.
Speaking of parties, the other night Britt and I watched Laguna Beach, and the season premier of My Super Sweet Sixteen was on. I wanted to absolutely murder this stupid girl who was on. She was horrible to her mother and was always saying all this nasty stuff and telling her to shut up and sit down and leave her alone and stop being annoying. Hello, dumbass, your mother is dropping $180,000 on a fucking birthday party, quite your bitching and be a little more grateful. It was ridiculous. I honestly think if I ever saw that girl on the street I would not be able to resist punching her. It would be way too sweet.
Okay, I think that is enough incoherent rambling for now, it's nap time.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
I'm Going to be Here Foreverrrrrrr
I am slowly giving in to the fact that I may very well reside in this state forever. Feeling overly ambitious right now, I have really started looking at grad schools. Unfortunately, of three programs I am primarily interested in, guess the one university all 3 have in common as being one of the best in the country? You get a cookie if you guessed good ol' University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Damnit. It could be worse, I could go to school in, or be from, Omaha. Omaha sucks so bad, Teetz was rear-ended today on his way to work and the fucktard drove off without stopping. Further proof Omaha sucks. But I digress. Back to grad school talk. As I said before, there are three programs I am really interested in: special education, educational psychology, and school administration. For the longest time I wanted to pursue Ed Psych for sure, but I think SpEd is the new love of my life, and I really want to be a principal one day so Ed Admin is a must. Mostly, I am just getting the doctorate so I can get the Escalade, because that was my deal with Grandpa: once I get the paper, I get the keys. Okay, so I am joking about the only-getting-the-degree-for-the-car thing, but I am not joking about the Escalade. It's as good as done the day I graduate for good. One factor I also have to consider in choosing a grad school is Drake. We have talked minimally about it at this point, but we want to be at least close to one another whatever happens after college (I am graduating in December, he is graduating in May). He also said he has no set plans right now, so it's kind of up in the air, wherever I go, he may go, kind of thing. Anyway, I also do not know if I even want to earn my degrees from the same university or not, so it is all jumbled right now. Maybe I will just move to California and sell fruit by the side of the road. I like California.
Side note: I also LOVE Laguna Beach. Britt and I watch it every Monday. Well, I missed the first Monday, but every Monday for the rest of the season (with the exception of really good Monday Night Football games) is Laguna Beach and Nachos Night. Britt and I are the mack-daddies of nacho-making. We pretty much rule all around.
Back to grad school though, (can anyone say ADD?) here are the places I am looking at right now. Some of it is based on rankings, some on love/hate of certain sports teams, and some just because. The numbers are not an indication of the order in which I would like to attend. Mostly, I just like to make lists.
Special Education:
1. Purdue
2.University of Illinois
3. UCLA
4. NCSU
5. UNL
6. University of Oregon
7. University of Washington
Educational Administration:
1. Johns Hopkins University
2. UNC ( I know, I'm a traitor)
3. UNL
4. Creighton (But I think we all know the likelihood of this happening is about the same me feeling anything but hate for the Green Bay Packers)
5. University of Illinois
6. Butler
7. University of Illinois-Chicago
8. University of Oregon
9. University of Washington
10. UCLA
Educational Psychology
1. University of Washington
2. Purdue University
3. University of Illinois-Chicago
4. University of Georgia
5. NCSU
6. UNC
7. UNL
8. University of Minnesota
I know, I know, the lists are kind of long right now, but most of the schools appear on at least two of the three lists. And who knows, I still may have my fruit stand by the side of the road.
Side note: I also LOVE Laguna Beach. Britt and I watch it every Monday. Well, I missed the first Monday, but every Monday for the rest of the season (with the exception of really good Monday Night Football games) is Laguna Beach and Nachos Night. Britt and I are the mack-daddies of nacho-making. We pretty much rule all around.
Back to grad school though, (can anyone say ADD?) here are the places I am looking at right now. Some of it is based on rankings, some on love/hate of certain sports teams, and some just because. The numbers are not an indication of the order in which I would like to attend. Mostly, I just like to make lists.
Special Education:
1. Purdue
2.University of Illinois
3. UCLA
4. NCSU
5. UNL
6. University of Oregon
7. University of Washington
Educational Administration:
1. Johns Hopkins University
2. UNC ( I know, I'm a traitor)
3. UNL
4. Creighton (But I think we all know the likelihood of this happening is about the same me feeling anything but hate for the Green Bay Packers)
5. University of Illinois
6. Butler
7. University of Illinois-Chicago
8. University of Oregon
9. University of Washington
10. UCLA
Educational Psychology
1. University of Washington
2. Purdue University
3. University of Illinois-Chicago
4. University of Georgia
5. NCSU
6. UNC
7. UNL
8. University of Minnesota
I know, I know, the lists are kind of long right now, but most of the schools appear on at least two of the three lists. And who knows, I still may have my fruit stand by the side of the road.
Friday, May 06, 2005
The Finale
I talked to Adam again today, he is coming back to Nebraska on June 8th at 10 am. Unfortunately, he will only be home for nine days instead of fourteen. It's not enough time...it's just not enough time and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
I am in my final hours as a resident of Pound Hall. I am ecstatic because I am finally going to be in my own place, but I am kind of sad to be leaving this room - not the dorm as a whole, but this room. There have been many many good times in this room, and there have also been some very very bad ones. I lived here for only two years but accumulated more friends and memories than one person even deserves in a lifetime. It's weird how empty it is now - my computer, my television, the loft, the futon, and a few articles of clothing. I am not ever coming back to this place again, and I hope the person who lives here after me makes as many memories as my friends and I did, and I hope they are just as good. I guess that's really it, there's not much else to say. After everything that has happened here, I am a little wistful, but this chapter is over, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
I am in my final hours as a resident of Pound Hall. I am ecstatic because I am finally going to be in my own place, but I am kind of sad to be leaving this room - not the dorm as a whole, but this room. There have been many many good times in this room, and there have also been some very very bad ones. I lived here for only two years but accumulated more friends and memories than one person even deserves in a lifetime. It's weird how empty it is now - my computer, my television, the loft, the futon, and a few articles of clothing. I am not ever coming back to this place again, and I hope the person who lives here after me makes as many memories as my friends and I did, and I hope they are just as good. I guess that's really it, there's not much else to say. After everything that has happened here, I am a little wistful, but this chapter is over, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Monday, May 02, 2005
More Rambling
Give me a break here, I am working all day and due to lack of finals, thus have nothing to study. Oh, wait, I don't study, I never have studied, and because I am graduating in December, I probably never will even have to study. Anyway...
I was playing around on the Net, because what else do I have to do at work? Everyone in here is taking the 1+ hour exams, so there is very little monitoring I have to do. But in one of my many journeys through cyberspace I found a quote site and found this:
The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. Hunter S. Thompson
It is one of the most honest things I have ever read and I am not entirely sure why it struck a nerve with me, but it did. Bailie understands what I am talking about, because she was right there on the edge with me that night. People can offer advice all they want, which sometimes I do too, but unless you have been at that breaking point, you don't know and you are never going to know. I am not sure exactly where this is coming from right now, but it really got to me and I had to get it out otherwise it was going to drive me nuts the rest of the day.
I was playing around on the Net, because what else do I have to do at work? Everyone in here is taking the 1+ hour exams, so there is very little monitoring I have to do. But in one of my many journeys through cyberspace I found a quote site and found this:
The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. Hunter S. Thompson
It is one of the most honest things I have ever read and I am not entirely sure why it struck a nerve with me, but it did. Bailie understands what I am talking about, because she was right there on the edge with me that night. People can offer advice all they want, which sometimes I do too, but unless you have been at that breaking point, you don't know and you are never going to know. I am not sure exactly where this is coming from right now, but it really got to me and I had to get it out otherwise it was going to drive me nuts the rest of the day.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
The Future is Here
I just finished my final class at the University of Nebraska. Huh. Well, I guess this is how it feels, and somehow, I am terrified.
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